Overheard From The Mind

I am your mind. 
I am noisy, 
I hope you forgive me.

I dance with the breeze,
I turn like a windmill.
I exist to churn out thoughts.
I do as nature made me.

You evolve, you seek wisdom.
You meditate, and ask "Who am I?"
You scheme to shush me.
You do things that confuse me.
You read books that say to you,
You need to conquer me.

I am willing to play your game.
I am eager for you to know me.
I look to you and plead,
I am not the enemy.

I am your mind.
I need you,
I hope you embrace me.

Airtime and the Meaning of Life

Time flows constantly, unaware of what its wake looks like. It is the longest line with no end. Many events come about and end in brief periods along its wake, like the leap of a dolphin next to a gigantic cruise ship - its brief flight starts and ends in a splash. Very little airtime. That is a lifetime for us. So forget the cruise ship of time - let's observe the start and finish of that airtime in slow motion.

The nose of the dolphin is barely visible under clear blue water - almost as if it's frozen inside ice. We know it's coming - about to break the surface of water and spring upward - with tremendous force.

The dolphin surges up - in slow motion we see the sheets of water being dragged up with it, and a million drops of water jump up in joy, cheering, participating in the celebration of the beginning of airtime for the dolphin.

The sheets of water begin to peel off, separate from the dolphin, fall back down - as if taking a synchronized bow to an unstoppable glory. The sheets cascade back into the ocean like a million pieces of light. The million drops stop too, look down, and reverse - joining in the downward orchestra. Their airtime is shorter. It needs a slower frame rate to take in. Not now.

When I think about what'd make me sad about dying, hopefully when I am much older, I think it'd be the thought that I'd no longer be able to listen to music, sleep in my bed, be with the people I love. Then, would the purpose of life be only one thing: doing the things we can when we are alive? Things that make us feel alive? More alive? More alive, as in much more than just existence.

Maybe the dolphin feels completely alive when it leaps up - its airtime - above its natural habitat, outside of its life-supporting water. You perhaps miss the dolphin's expression, but you instinctively know it's a happy event for the dolphin. Airtime - it's levitating in pure joy. I bet the dolphin lives that entire airtime in slow motion in its mind and soul. Frame by frame.

As it crashes back into the ocean with tremendous force, it must be pure joy as well. Going back into what allows it to do the most alive thing it knows to do - gather speed and launch into air again.

The meaning of life is airtime. Living a life that supports airtime, and the actual airtime. Just does not get any better.

Flaws and Strengths

Which is more important to know - one's flaws, or strengths? Flaws are pretty obvious I think, once we stop the denial or try to bury them. Strengths are silent - sometimes reflected back to us by others. Rarely, but you know they are there. But the majority of who we are, the largest portion of what makes us, is neither flaws nor strengths. It is just the neutral facts that make us who we are. In fact I'd suggest that most of us are 3% flaws, 2% strengths, and 95% neutral facts. So why not focus on that more, instead of the few flaws in our own minds, or strengths in the eyes of others?

I like chocolate. I love to watch movies. I work hard on things I am passionate about. I am extreme in my statements when I try to make a point. These are just neutral facts.

I care too much about what others think. At first take, that sounds like a flaw to me. But if I choose to look deeper, I try to examine why I do that. Do I do it for my own ego, or do I do it as a benchmark to judge my action towards others? And either way, is this a flaw that pains me, or pains others? If it pains others, it is clearer as a flaw. Is caring what others think something that hurts others? I doubt it. The fact that it pains me is bad enough though. This phenomenon is a harmful side-effect of focusing on the 5% instead of the 95%. Focusing on the 95% is a great way to cut out negative energy in one's life.

Peace is already there - negative energy and interactions and people take away from it, or at least perturb it. That minority needs to be cut out. A realization I have now (perhaps an extreme statement to make a point) is this. If someone has an issue with what I said or did to them, then I need to try to understand how I was wrong. However, if their issue is with their perception of what I am, I will ditch them from my life. No goodbyes.

Recognition of positive people, positive comments, traits, and nature's ample positive energy comes to us through the 95% as well. Say hello to that.

Short Poems by Adi Mishra

Succeed

Go ahead and succeed while others debate if you can,
Gratefully share your fortunes as they say you got lucky from far.
Do good while some wonder if you're a good person,
And deeply cherish those who always know who you are.


Surrender
Joy so intense that it stops all thought,
Sadness so strong you can't speak, breathe or cry.
Love so powerful that you just totally let go,
None of these you can feel if you actually try.

To feel such amazement you must completely surrender,
Release all fear and decide to be weak.
Utter a word and it will all disappear,
When the strong is good, it gives everything to the meek.

Judge Me
Look at me and see the flaws,

Focus on each and every one.

Reduce me to an inferior being,

Until you are sure you have won.

See all the good only on your side,

Laugh at all the bad on mine.

But don't rise so high that I'm not before you,

For I'm just a mirror, clear, perfect and fine.

Bad Screenplays in Real Life

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players ..."

- William Shakespeare. Sure, Sir, but how does one pick a good screenplay?

We are so funny. People, I mean. Touchy egos. Always caught up in perceptions. "What are people saying about me? Who is saying good things? Who is telling untrue stories and poisoning the ones that like me? How can I put a stop to that?" Always defining ourselves in the eyes and words of others. "I know I did a poor job with this and that, but I still want to be patted on the back! If others say I did a great job then I did!" Constant improv drama.

Who are we really, in absolute terms? Are we the person right after we wake up - before the interactions with others get to confuse us? We certainly aren't the guy who was having nightmares all night! That one was off in strange lands, with people unseen and unthought of in years, having brushes with famous people and dark villains. Forget that! After waking up, in the land of the conscious, the nightmares fade, and we look at ourselves in the mirror, brushing our teeth. "Who is this guy? Hair all limp, face all puffy - this guy needs to get cleaned up! THEN I become the real me! Let's ditch this sorry state fast!"

The next real me emerges, jumps into the car with laptop, backs out of the garage carefully so that one of the side mirrors don't get crushed again. Off to work - speeds out of the residential lane into the main street - then promptly comes to a halt. Traffic. The sea of cars moves slowly towards the freeway - where the real traffic is. "Look at that idiot! Of course - had to be right in front of me! You are letting too many cars into our lane you idiot! MOVE!" We catch ourselves blowing a lid, wondering if the car behind you was able to see you throwing your arms about - like a monkey. "Even if 1% of drivers are like this idiot in front of me," we go on, "then I'll probably run into 20 of them today! Ridiculous!" We calm down, turn the music on, and try to relax. "OK, this guy is not me - he gets easily upset, and is too impatient and unhappy! I'll transform into the real me as soon as I get to work. That's where I excel!"

One more real me gets out of his car at the parking lot and walks towards the main office door, laptop bag in hand. "Dammit! My shoulder pain is because of this stupid laptop bag. What the hell is making it so heavy! This laptop is supposed to only weigh five pounds! And I'm sure my right leg is slightly shorter than the left. That doesn't help either! Look at me, a limping fool with unequal legs dragging my crooked ass to work. And I forgot to take my multi-vitamin again! Why can't I remember these simple things! I even kept the bottle by the toothbrush so I'd see it!" Doubts begin to arise about THIS real me. "I'll be OK - a nice cup of coffee, and get a good a going at work!"

A good day for who? "When I am the real me, is that a good day for me, or for those around me? Why does it have to be a good day? What does that have to do with being real? Hmm. Let me just enjoy my coffee and go to the staff meeting. Those meetings are a good way to start the day. Get some perspective, some gossip, and juicy politics."

Thoughts. Like dust kicked up by a blower. Blocking clarity! Hiding the real me? At the end of the day, while recovering from too many human interactions, a plan takes shape for tomorrow. "Tomorrow, I'll find the real me!"

Bedtime. A few deep breaths using the StressEraser begin to calm down the thoughts, push back the murkiness behind an imaginary yellow tape holding the crowds back. Clarity emerges a bit - yes! - some insight is about to come - about the real me!

Sleep swoops in - promptly picks up the vaguely emerging concept of real me and tucks it out of sight. Dammit!

Conditional Love

Meaningful Conversation Series

This is from a collection of topics from meaningful conversations with friends over time. Right now I define a Meaningful Conversation as a spirited sequence of stated opinions amongst wine-induced friends, sometimes with someone listening. This definition does not necessarily take into account any meaningful substance or general human progress. I hope to get some of the topics out and revisit my favorite ones over time.

About ten years ago over dinner a friend asked me if I believed in Unconditional Love. My instant response was "No." Conditions affect all our conscious actions, including our ability to love, and conditions can be strong enough to completely wipe out love - for someone or something, I said. I struck strongly to kill every counter-example that was suggested - so strongly that I don't even remember what they were.  "Unconditional love is impossible!"

I was a little slow. What was supposed to happen over the span of that conversation - thinking, reflecting on counter-points, jointly moving the topic forward, rewiring of a few neurons perhaps - happened over the next few days. At the end of it I called my friend urgently.  I reported the mathematical opposite of what I had said before. "I was completely wrong - what is impossible is conditional love," I said. Love is something that happens to us, not something we do, so we have no control over it. Conditions only affect actions we control, not things that happen to us. That was my new decision on the topic. I am sure it was not an original thought at that point - but it was the end result of my own processing. "All love is unconditional."

About the same time, another friend of mine had mentioned that there was no more original thought. Most fundamental concepts were already established hundreds if not thousands of years ago, and most new thought was a rehash or application of models from one topic to another - primarily for better understanding and communication. But she and I had both agreed that thankfully that did not stop us from thinking. The fact that she was in leather pants at the time did not make me take her any less seriously. In her defense, earlier she had a matching leather jacket on. She should have left it on, so others that came to that party later would have seen the reason for the leather pants, such as it was.

Going back to conditional love - or unconditional for that matter - the root of the topic remains. Is love something we do, or is it something we experience? Like a breeze, or sunshine. We do not control those, but you could argue we could hide from them. We could plainly choose to hide from sunlight and avoid the breeze, with or without conditions. Pushing the metaphor, you could argue that conditions, like clouds, could hide the sunlight. But those are external conditions, not caused by the subject. Yes, external conditions can wipe out the opportunity for love. The term "conditional love" suggests a decision by the subject - whether to to love or not, and how much, but not the opportunity to experience it. We can still choose to hide from it, with or without conditions. That does not make it conditional.

In this holiday season, I wish everyone the decision to not hide from the abundant love that exists in their lives. And yes - regarding the very few negative ones - they are only acting out of insecurity. Focusing too much on their negativity is like hiding from love. Recognize the love that shines on them too. After all, it is unconditional!